Thank God for..

Great friends. They make living here soooo much better. Paul and I had spent the past 2 days in the apartment watching tv. It was nice, but today I was ready to get out and have a little fun. So...Paul took me out for an expensive dinner at Saltgrass Steakhouse. And yes...it was quite expensive. Eek. But so worth it and so delicious. Paul wanted to go see a movie afterward, but I was tired of the same ol' same ol'. I mentioned bowling and we decided on that. It had been FOREVER since we went bowling. I texted my friend Kelsey to ask her what her and her husband were doing and invited them to join us at 9. It was SO much fun bowling and hanging out with them :-) Mom jokingly asked if I was ok to lift a bowling ball and we joked about how ridiculous the pregnancy "you can't eat this, you can't do that" has gotten. She told me that if all of that stuff were true, her kids would have all be deformed or had problems! lol. Anyways, I'm getting off topic. Kelsey is pregnant as well. She's due 3 weeks after me, so it's a ton of fun going through all this together. She kicked everyone's butt at bowling! Goodness, it was ridiculous and put us all to shame. We bowled for two hours, then discussed New Year's Eve plans. Since neither couple had any plans, Paul and I invited them over for games, snacks, hanging out and watching the ball drop. I'm excited! We went and stocked up on snacks and drinks after we got done bowling. Bring on the New Year!!!

I've been feeling lots of round ligament pain. Like...alot. And I feel like I'm getting bigger (belly) everyday. Seriously. My lower stomache got hard and noticeable all of a sudden. Next on the list: feeling movement and finding out the sex. I love being pregnant :-)

Round Ligament pain

Well, since I am officially in my second trimester, I have been experiencing some new pains. Since I had heard so much about them from ladies several weeks ahead of me in pregnancy, I haven't been worried about it. It just assures me that my uterus is stretching and growing as normal. My appointment is next week and I am soooooo hoping that we find out whether our baby is a boy or a girl. I need to know for my sanity! lol. But I am preparing to have to wait another month (cringe!). Anyways, I have been feeling GREAT! It's really like the second trimester magically took away all the bad stuff of pregnancy, surprisingly. Well, most parts. I still have some pains that I know I will be dealing with for the rest of the pregnancy. I can handle it....but the acid reflux is pretty darn miserable and painful! I live off tums sometimes because of the stomache/digestion issues I deal with. Paul and I are feeling alot more connected to our baby lately, as we realize that that is for real and there will be a birth in 6 months. It is so exciting and life changing! I cannot wait to buy everything our baby needs to be happy and healthy. It's just really hard to do that when you don't know whether to go more feminine or masculine in baby products! lol. But we will know soon enough and there are many exciting things going on between now and when we do find out :-) So I will have stuff to keep me preoccupied. Fun times all around for the Balough family. This week....we are spending every second of every day together of course! lol. Paul has off work, so we can just be husband and wife. We really don't get the chance to connect much with Paul's work schedule, but this week has been a wonderful change of pace for us as a couple already...and it's only getting started. We have plenty of time to talk, cuddle, watch our favorite tv shows and movies and just do what we want! I LOVE my husband and I am so glad we are starting our family now :-) Best decision of our lives. Anyways, I gotta pee. Go figure.

Self-image

Since getting pregnant, I have struggled with self-image a lot. I often feel fat and ugly and everything bad. A few days ago, I spent all day crying my eyes out because I just felt really, really really low. I guess I was realizing that my body is changing really fast all of the sudden and it's not quite so pretty right now. I'm at the point where I do have a little bit of a hard bump and it's pushing my fat out even further. So at the moment, I just look like I'm getting fat. I hate looking in the mirror. Anyways, when I was at my lowest point...the lyrics of a song by Mercy Me popped into my head. I am constantly listening to Christian music lately and it is so good for me. The song is called "You're Beautiful":

Days will come when you don't have the strength
And all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart
They'd see too much

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful

Praying that you have the heart to fight
Cuz you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
But they are nothing in the shadow of the cross

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful

Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to die!

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
In His eyes

You're beautiful!
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful!
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful!
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful!
You are treasured
You are sacred
You are His

I hear this song daily now and it is a constant reminder that there is a purpose behind growing tummy/blooming figure (because face it...it's not just the belly that grows...and I am not in need of these increases.) But I am made to have and raise children. It is my God-given purpose in life and I am learning to embrace this, looking forward to the greater future. God is good and I am so blessed to bear children and raise them in the Lord. So yes, I had a day of "mourning" my lost figure, but now it's time to concentrate on the mission God has set before me :-)

I'm having a....

NEPHEW! Hehe. My sister in law found out what she is having for sure and I am way excited. She and I were chatting today at having boys versus girls. She and I both agreed that there are waaaayyy too many options for EVERYTHING when it comes to girls. Clothes, bedding, prints, anything and everything. Not that that is a bad thing, but when I think about having a girl, I get a little overwhelmed. To be honest, I have all boy stuff picked out easily. So I will know what to buy right away if I find out I'm having a little Ashton. I will be absolutely THRILLED if I have we find out it's a girl, but wow. I guess I need to do some research on stuff I would want. Heather (S-I-L) told me today that she really hopes I have a boy so that our children can really be playmates. It would be neat to have two cousins less than 2 months apart. I am so thankful we can go through this time together. I would love for our children to have the same experiences I had with my cousins. Now that I realized through my stream of consciousness post that I have NOTHING picked out for a girl, I guess I need to start looking. New mission. Cute baby girl stuff that isn't too pink. It might be slightly harder than I think. I am not going with blue for a boy, so I don't want total pinkness for a girl. Honestly, I "feel" I'm carrying a boy. I have no clue why. I haven't paid attention to any of the old wives' tales except for the heart rate. But that says girl. lol..Anyways, who knows. Off to research girl stuff. I can't believe I am getting closer to finding out :-)

Beautiful...

Today was really awesome. Ok, 2-3 hours of today were really awesome. Paul came home at 7am and came straight to bed. Then he went to work around 6:30pm. At 7, he was able to come home. We decided to go look at Christmas lights in a local neighborhood, then go to Christmas in Roseland. It is a huge rose garden all decked out in Christmas lights and scenes. It was so pretty and so refreshing just to walk through all these lights in the cold, fresh air. Good for my soul! After walking around seeing all the lights, we were cold and hungry. We went to my favorite place to eat: Chili's. It was delicious. I just love their jalepeno ranch dressing. I'm not normally a lover of spicy food, but this baby has changed me for the time being. I am loving spicy stuff. Dinner was delicious. It turns out Paul had to go back to work for the night. That was a bit of a bummer, but Paul had taken me out on a date, gotten me out of the house and we had fun..so I was ok with it. Paul just knows me too well and knows what I need. So I came back to the apartment a happy and content girl. And now, I have to go to bed because Paul and I are planning on going to the early service at church so that Paul can stay awake through it before we come back and he goes to sleep. Ok. I am rambling and I just need to go to sleep! If I can. lol. I'm kind of keyed up....I am finally in a fun stage of pregnancy and I'm enjoying it!

Random...not all baby related.

Today has been a fairly good day for me. I'm starting to feel normal again and not like there's a leach sucking and draining all energy and life out of me! lol. Anyways, we got bad news today after we woke up. Paul (and most of Barksdale AFB) has been put on 12s for the weekend and Paul's shift is overnight. There's a few events that brought this on. Kinda scary! It reminded me of the reality of being a military wife: Always being flexible and supporting my husband as he and all military keep this country safe. It's not always the "Air Force's fault" for bringing stuff like this on our men. Outside forces can strike unexpectedly. I'm learning to go with the flow. Anyways, after learning that the next day off Paul will have is Christmas Day...we decided that we just need to go ahead and get my Christmas present since we won't have a chance till after Christmas. I got a new iPhone 4!!! It is totally awesome. And takes the edge off spending the nights alone. lol. I am so thankful for my precious, sweet little dogs. They are so full of love and happiness and it passes on to me. So they are my companions for the next few days. I....just lost my train of thought. Things are going well in the pregnancy area. I'm 12 weeks. Things are as good as can be. Ok. Gotta...go do nothing. LOL! Me, baby A, Dash and Marley are going to chill out all night.

Crawling

Time is really seeming to crawl these days. I think it has something to do with the fact that I'm now anxious to find out the gender of my baby. Now that I'm *basically* out of my first trimester (almost), I feel like I can breathe easier and get excited about all the fun stuff. But of course, many things in life are a waiting game. Right now...it's for gender revelation and the beginning of buying stuff to prepare for our little one. I just really don't want to until we know for sure. My next appointment (and possible gender reveal) is in 3 weeks. That seems like forever away. On top of all this, we have Christmas to get through. I don't mean to sound like a Grinch, but it's hard to really get excited about it when this is the first Christmas 750 miles away from family. We will make the best of it though, and enjoy our first Christmas together. It's not something we can re-do. I guess if I had a little more energy and was able to get the apartment spotless clean and Christmasy, then it would help. But alas, the little one drains me. I still spend alot of time sleeping or napping. I can't wait to get to the time in pregnancy where I have energy and want to "nest"...or clean like a psycho. So yeah, I do feel guilty for not being in the Christmas mood. I am thrilled to be with my husband, I really am. And he has been amazingly supportive since this season is kind of hard on me this year. Pregnancy hormones+family forever away+Christmas= not so much fun. One thing I do have to say is how thankful to God I am for my husband and my wonderful, sweet friend Kelsey. God put her here and in my life because I needed to a friend like her. We have become sisters in such a short time and I am so blessed. Plus, we get to go through everything together :-) God is good!

Anyways, not a whole lot else to say. I'm tired. What's new? Just gotta roll with the punches!

The wonderful, the good, the bad and the ugle

I decided I would do a post on the good and the bad of pregnancy that I have experienced in these 11 weeks. Granted, I've got quite a ways to go in this journey...but I've experienced quite alot in these short few months. Should I start with the bad or the good first? I think I'll start with the bad, because I want to save the BEST for last ;-)

BAD:

1. Nausea--there is nothing like pregnancy nausea.

2. Heartburn/indigestion/upset stomache-- Wait...I'm starting to sound like a commercial for pepto bismol.

3. Peeing every 30 minutes-- ANNOYING

4. Cramps--these are supposedly only bad during the first trimester...but they are worrisome because you think about the possibility of a miscarriage.

5. Emotions--up, down, left, right, everywhere in one day.

6. Throwing up on the carpet bc I couldn't make it to the bathroom-- ok, that was me. Not fun. My poor husband had to clean it up. Yuck!

7. Sensitivity to smell...

Ok, let's get to the good.

GOOD:

1. Knowing a precious baby is developing in the womb.

2. Emotions--Can also be a good thing. I'm more in touch with other peoples' feelings, their pain, happiness, etc. I cry when someone is hurting and am really excited for people with good news.

3. Watching the changes of my body :-)

4. SEEING my precious baby through ultrasounds. The best part!

5. Going through everything with a loving, sweet mate. My husband is amazing.

6. Growing closer to my hubby through this.

7. Ok, I can't lie. I can get away with doing alot less now, because my husband is more than willing to do it for me. Especially if I'm sick.

8. Food--everything is just so much tastier now that I'm pregnant.

9. Talking about baby stuff for a reason!

10. Planning for a baby!!

Ok...I gotta go. Hubby and I need to make dinner :-)

I saw God today..

In my little miracle that is growing furiously! Seeing our baby...that actually looked like a real baby was so amazing! Baby A was kicking and wiggling and moving all around for us. It was so, so so cute! The heartbeat was 158. That is pretty darn fast and it had a really strong heartbeat. It was much louder than 4 weeks ago. He or she measured at 11 weeks, 1 day gestation...which is a little ahead of the 10 weeks, 5 days that I am. I am just too thrilled over our little one. My doctor told us that we will get an ultrasound next time as well...and that we might get to find out our baby's gender! How exciting. I am so in love with my baby already and I cannot wait to meet him/her July 1st...or whenever it decides to make an appearance. I know my Mom is planning on being here for the birth...Then Momma D (Paul's Mom) is coming in July to see us and the grandbaby. I hope I have HUGE nesting urges before people show up and that my apartment is spotless clean and ready. lol. I have a feeling we are going to be pretty full of visitors in July. And since they are mother figures, that means help with our little one starting out :-) Anyways, that is the update for now. Since I have energy right now I am going to clean this place up and start preparing for dinner. LOVE. Oh! And here's the 10.5 week preggie picture.

This was at 10 weeks, 3 days on Monday :-)

Heartbeat

I purchased a fetal heart doppler from Amazon at the beginning of the week. I got it today and was super excited to try it out. Well, after a short few minutes of looking for the heartbeat, I found it. There is no mistaking that beautiful sound. I quickly called Paul in to listen and he said "yep, that's a baby alright." I got a heartbeat reading of around 125-130. I know the old wives' tale is that below 140=boy...sooooo it could be a boy. But it could be a girl. lol. Either way I am so excited to be able to heart my baby's heartbeat whenever I want to. Yippee!!

Precious Moments

I feel like Paul and I are bonding and getting closer everyday throughout this pregnancy. Yesterday, I got so many hugs and kisses from him. I am enjoying every second of this beautiful time in our lives. Yesterday he actually put his hand on my abdomen to feel the hard part. It was so cute. He said "Baby in theeerrreeee." lol. A few days ago, he told me I was amazing. When I asked him why, he rattled off a whole list of things, one of them being that I put up with and handle alot of stuff...and another was that I was carrying his baby.

Here is the most recent picture of me. Actually, it was taken yesterday. Don't mind my hair. I had just gotten out of the shower. I wanted to start getting pictures up when I started noticing little changes. So I will probably be posting weekly pictures from here on out. I am so excited to see my baby again. I reeeeaaally hope I get an ultrasound this time as well. And next time so we can find out the sex! lol. We'll find out eventually no matter what, so I'm just gonna relax. BUT, I do want to know what colors and stuff I need to start buying. I think I picked out the perfect travel system (stroller and car seat)...it would work for either sex. I think so, anyway.

So this is the one I like. Anyways, that's about all I have to update on for now. Hope everyone is having a good week!

Lots of new!

Well, there are a few new developments...I am starting to get a little hard pouch in my lower abdomen that I can't suck in anymore. Only I can notice it at this point because it's still pretty early in the pregnancy. Thanksgiving was amazing! I loved being in Florida with my family. Such a blessing! Then Paul took me shopping on black friday. He bought me some maternity clothes and a belly band since I'm in between pre pregnancy pants and maternity pants now. I have some maternity tops that are loose and flowy (for now)...room to grow. I am just getting sooo excited about this pregnancy and our Baby A. We have our names picked out and most people know of them by now. That's why our baby is Baby A, no matter whether a girl or boy: we have picked out "A" names. Oh! A new thing: My little one is now a "fetus" in medical terms. How cool. No longer an embryo. I am just so blessed by this baby already. I am 9.5 weeks and no longer sick. I have my energy back. And I am really enjoying the pregnancy now. I never got REALLY sick, luckily. Just nauseous at time. Not too much throwing up. Baby A has been treating me pretty well. I just have some stretching and cramping that can be painful at times. That's expected. My next appointment is December 8th. I am not sure if I will get another ultrasound (sonogram) or not at this one. But if I get one at my January appointment, we *should* be able to find to find out the sex. I will be far enough along at that point. That is, if Baby A doesn't have its legs crossed or anything. I will say I have a "feeling" that it's a boy..with certain old wives' tales. I would prefer a girl first, and I could be totally wrong. But I am getting waaaaay excited about either sex, boy or girl. EEEEKKKK!

Anyways, next weekend Paul and I are decorating for Christmas. So much fun :-) Getting our first real tree together. Yay!

Funny husband.

So yesterday was a rough day. Not really bad, but just overwhelming. By the time I got home from work, my patience and serenity (serenity? me? who am I kidding?) were totally gone. I started cooking beef tips and rice. All I did was spill some gravy and I lost it. Like...slammed the ladle down, walking away yelling about how I couldn't handle this and blah blah blah. Seriously, it was the emotions and hormones talking. Once I sat down with my dinner, I just started crying. And of course, my hubby cuddled up to me, kissed my cheek and forehead and told me I'm doing fine and it's going to be ok. He told me dinner turned out great. Anything to cheer me up. Then he looked at the tears in my eyes and said "stupid baby"....I have to admit, the way he said it was really funny. I said "Don't call our baby stupid!!" and he said "Excuse me. FRUSTRATING baby." That being said, I could not think of a more perfect man to 'handle' me during pregnancy. He knows exactly what to say and what to do at the right time. He makes me feel alot better when the house is a mess and I can't clean it because of my full time job. And sometimes, he surprises me by doing a little cleaning before I get home from work. I couldn't think of a more perfect man for me, and I can't wait to have a child with him. Hormones are just ca-razy right now, and for the next 7 months I'm sure! Oh baby.

A little update.

Well, I haven't really had a whole lot to update on the pregnancy the past few days. Things are going well. Paul and I are talking and planning for baby Balough's arrival. We are also trying to plan a "babymoon"...that's just a last big vacation before baby comes. It would be fun. We'd have to plan it for no later than March because I would be too far along to travel after that. Right now it's a toss up between Washington DC and a cruise from Charleston, SC to the Bahamas. I want the cruise...Paul wants DC. We'll have to figure things out there. Time is ticking. Speaking of, I'm coming up on 8 weeks pregnant and I can't believe it has already been almost month since we found out. Morning sickness hit me early on, so in some ways it has drug on. The irony of it all...we weren't trying to get pregnant in October at all. We planned to start trying again in November. God had other plans. I thought by this time, we might be just now finding whether we were or weren't pregnant.

Anywho...Really, not a whole lot to say at this point. My next appointment is December 8th. Paul and I have been coming up with some alternative names to the ones we had already picked out. I'm starting to like them. Alot.

My daily reminder...

Today was a wonderful day...well, for the most part. Paul and I spent the WHOLE day together doing anything and everything we wanted to do. It was so refreshing. We went and had lunch on the boardwalk, then went to pick up my paycheck and deposit it. After that we went and did a little shoe shopping. You see, I had decided that this paycheck I was setting aside $100 for me to do/get some things that I wanted. And the other $400 went into savings. Sooo, I bought myself two new pairs of shoes for fall and winter..since I threw out most of my shoes before I left and had no cold weather shoes to wear. And the rest of the money is going to a pedicure!! I'm excited. My feet are in bad shape. Anyways, after the shoe shopping, we went to see a movie called Unstoppable. It was A-MAZING. Go see it. Then to the grocery store for paper plates and Arby's for dinner. All day, I had basically forgotten I was pregnant. I wasn't having symptoms, didn't feel pregnant. Nothing. After dinner, we got home and realized that my sweet Marley had had a BAD accident all in her bed. Paul took the dogs outside while I prepared myself for cleaning it up. I say "prepared" because it only got that far. I thought about cleaning it up...then had to run as fast as I can to make it to the toilet to throw up. It was then that I realized that I, indeed, am pregnant. The smell and thought of cleaning up the mess made me vomit. I'm just SO glad I made it to the bathroom and didn't end up having two messes to clean up. That would have been really bad. So...that was my daily reminder todat about being pregnant. And I'm still nauseous after that episode :-/

Recap

Yesterday was our first baby appointment. It was one of the most amazing experience of my life. I went in there thinking "What if I'm not really pregnant?" All those fears when away when I saw the little baby up on the tv. It was breathtaking. Everything looked great and healthy and made me feel alot better. I am about 7 weeks along and due July 1st. I am so glad to have an official due date...and it's sooner than what I originally thought. So exciting! Yesterday was just a crazy eventful day and I am so thankful to God for all He is doing in our lives right now.

Well, I'm not feeling so great so I'm gonna get something to eat and lay down. I'll update more later.

You can't fire me. I quit.

Ok, I admit it. I have always kinda wanted to say that. Today was as close as I'll ever get to saying it. Yes, I quit my job..and I am so very glad I did. When I got to work today I got a call from the spa owner. She started yelling in my ear about how I am under no circumstances allowed to sit down at work (they have cameras and can watch everything you do). And she also said that it was totally unacceptable for me to wear a jacket/hoodie over my work shirt because I got cold. Also, how I can under no circumstances have my cell phone.

Pause.

My manager AND head spa attendant said it was OK to have my cell phone as long as I wasn't using it in front of clients. And the list goes on about ALL the things I have done wrong at this stupid place. So when she brought up the "no sitting" policy...I just said "Well then I'm gonna have to put in my two weeks' notice." And that was that. I'M PREGNANT. And I have to stand for 8 hours with no breaks? Screw that. So...I made a list of reasons why I'm glad I quit:

1. We don't get breaks

2. We aren't allowed to sit down.

3. We serve alcohol without a permit

4. Only make $8/hour

5. Owners are awful. No joke.

6. Spa is run sloppily.

7. Have to deal with rich gamblers (no fun).

8. Get treated like crap!

9. Have to clean up after therapists.

10. Deal with angry customers.

11. The hours suck.

12. We can't eat during our shifts.

13. There are not enough employees--->no breaks.

Needless to say, this job sucks!

Green...

And no, not green with envy. Green with full on, nasty, unglamorous nausea. It is now every single day that I experience it. Some days I throw up, some days I don't. But everyday I feel bad. I'm thankful for the nausea because it lets me know that things are going well...atleast I hope! But I'm learning not to borrow trouble. Things can change in an instant, and if something bad happens...I will deal with it when/if it happens. I can't sit here and worry about tomorrow when tomorrow has not even come yet. I am 6 weeks and 1 day pregnant on this wonderful Sunday. I made it through my shift at work. I have so much to be thankful for. In regards to work, it's getting harder and harder to handle. I am on my feet for 8 hours at a time. This is causing me to have some bad back pain after doing this for 2 months already...and on top of that, my chest is ever growing, causing even more back pain. And after a full shift at work, I start cramping. You can see how this would be nerve wracking. Today it was so painful and I was quite panicked. It's a mix of lower back pain and cramps. I haven't decided on what I want to do about work quite yet. I'm leaning toward seeing if I can go part time so that I'm not on my feet so much, and also so that I'm not so worn out. Not to mention the getting sick at work. I'd love to continue on working there and having that paycheck. I'm going to wait to talk to my doctor about it first though, and make sure everything is indeed ok with my little bean. The one constant in my pregnancy right now is the sickness. Emotions: up and down, back and forth, side to side. Cramps: come and go. Exhaustion: some days are worse than others. This is just not the fun time in pregnancy and I miss feeling normal. But normal has gone out the window. Nothing will ever, ever be the same...and I'm ok with that. I can't wait to experience all the stages of this baby's life, from prenatal, to newborn, to crawling, to toddler, kindergarten, grade school...etc etc. It's going to be a whirlwind of a life!

Food!

Pregnancy and food can be the weirdest combinations. I just have to say there are things I used to hate that I am actually eating loving since I got pregnant...more like in the past few days. The thing now is McDouble's from McDonalds. I get some every day for lunch and I'm sure I'll blow up like a balloon. I just can't get enough. Another I like is mustard. I used to be a mustard-a-phobic. I couldn't stand the sight, the smell, it was just nasty to me. Now, I'm eating it on alot of stuff. It's just too weird.

The morning sickness has set in. And surprisingly (thus far) it is ONLY morning sickness. It does go away. I'm not holding my breath because that could change. When I get further along I could be sick all day. I'm preparing for it. It just sucks though when I work the morning shift at work. Throwing up and nausea plus work is NOT fun. It's the worst. But so far I've been able to push through it. I can't wait to get out of the first trimester. But I'm still enjoying the time I have now, sick or not.

Well, that's it for now! I need a nap.

Trucking along...

I have so much to do. Sooooo much. And yet, I can't seem to get things done. Everything seems like a freakin huge task with how tired I am. I will get it done though. If not today or tomorrow, then on my two days off Thursday and Friday. Paul and I neeeeeed to go grocery shopping too. We have no food here, but neither Paul nor I seem to care too much. Our plan is to do our grocery shopping Thursday. I need to make out a meal plan. I remember almost two months ago when I was a stay at home wife and all I had to do was clean/meal plan/hang out with friends. My, how things changed so quickly. I am so thankful for my job now that we have a baby on the way. It has been such a huge blessing thus far. Instead of saving just $300 per month...we are now saving $700-800 PER MONTH! That's a tremendous amount of month and I am thrilled to be able to give our baby everything it needs. I'm sure my parents will want to help out a little in buying baby stuff, but we will be able to take care of everything. Our baby is going to be spoiled! And another thing...by the time the baby does come, we will be making another $300 more per month. Another blessing and assurance that God has PERFECT timing and He is providing for us every step of the way. I'm just way excited. Now if only little Blade or Brianna would give Mommy energy to get stuff done! Who am I kidding.

Changes everyday...

Not just in my body, but in my husband. It's so crazy how a pregnancy and coming baby can change so many people. Good changes...well, maybe not physically in me. I used to laugh and deny when people would tell me that my boobs would get bigger if I got pregnant. I thought..how could MY boobs get any bigger?? Well, it is definitely happening and not something I'm totally thrilled about. I'm already a DDD and growing. Do I have DDD bras? No. So I've resorted to sports bras, but I don't even fit all in those either anymore. I guess I'm gonna need to invest in some new bras. I HATE bra shopping with a passion. Haaaaate.

Ok, so that's the only negative change so far. Onto my husband. I cannot praise him enough for how awesome he is to me. My husband has transformed overnight to the sweetest, most caring and sensitive guy ever. No joke. Every chance he gets, he's bringing me food to work so that I can eat and stay energized. It doesn't matter to him that it's out of the way from where we live. He will drop everything to bring me what I want. Then at home, he helps me out as much as he can. Granted, my house is kind of messy right now...but that's just because I'm feeling yucky and don't want to ask my husband to keep doing stuff. He also loves to cuddle and just hold me while we watch tv. Something about carrying his baby has transformed him and our relationship. I love him more and more every day! He is my baby's daddy and that makes me smile. I cannot wait to raise beautiful children with the man of my dreams. God's blessings continue to pour out on the Balough family.

About my relationship...

With God. There are things I reeeeaaallly have trouble trusting Him to take care. The biggest one, up until now, was the right timing for children. I really doubted that He would even allow me to have children, because even though I wanted them really badly, I didn't see myself as deserving of that blessing. So that was one thing I struggled with. Before I got pregnant, I had determined that I would quit my job if I ever did get pregnant because I wanted to do everything I could to keep the pregnancy. Then...I got pregnant. At this point, I had to do my best to trust God that He would do what He thought best for me. Everyday has been a struggle to trust Him that I will have a healthy baby in July. And on top of that, I have continued to work. I know that the longer I work, the more money we will have for our baby. And I believe that God will honor my decision to continue working for our baby, despite my fears about my pregnancy and health. I am choosing to trust God with this, even if every ounce of my being says quit and take it easy. So far, things are going really well. I'm 5 weeks pregnant today. Things seem completely normal and I am still having all pregnancy symptoms. I count every day a blessing and gift from God. I'm so so excited about what is to come. And when I think about the fact that I will have a living, breathing baby in my arms by July...I am just in awe. God is SO good. And on top of this, I have fallen more and more in love with my husband. Something about pregnancy has given me these amazing feelings toward my husband. He really is a dream come true...as is our lives together. I have such a wonderful man and I am so thankful God brought us together.

Daily pregnancy story: Today I had an 8 hour shift at work. When I got home around 9pm, I sat down with my puppies. Dash came up to me and I just started bawling, telling him that I loved him so much. Then Marley came over and I cried even harder. I was just so happy I was home with them again, because today for some reason, was especially hard being away from my "babies". I just love them so much and the emotions overflowed today. Thanks Baby Balough!

Is it real?

Sometimes it doesn't feel real. Yet other times, I'm very aware of what's happening and the changes that are coming. These hormones are crazy, let me tell ya. I've never experienced anything like it. One minute, I'm fine...and the next, I'm crying because the clean sheets still have to be put on the bed so I can actually sleep in it. It's times like that when I'm so thankful for my husband, because he just takes me in his arms and lets me cry, then gets me to talk about what's wrong or why I'm overwhelmed. After that, I'm all better again. I never used to get SO upset over something so tiny as getting off the couch to feed the dogs, or making the bed, or even the way the dishwasher was loaded! My, how things have changed. And I get even more upset when I try to put on a pair of jeans and they BARELY fit, because as soon as I got pregnant...I became really bloated. So these days, my wardrobe has consisted of stretchy pants. They are comfortable and I'm happy. Being pregnant is going to be one heck of an adventure. Good in alot of ways, bad in some. Right now, I'm just trying to cope with the emotional changes and that's a feat in and of itself. Poor Paul. And I still have no idea what each day will hold. Will I start having bad morning sickness? Will I have to quit my job because of it? Will we be able to save as much as I want to without having a job?

I'm just going to take it day by day and be thankful for everything going on right now. I am soooooo happy that I'm pregnant and we are going to have a baby next year. It's so exciting. And Paul will have a newborn when he turns 28. That makes me smile! He will have a child before 30, like he always wanted. God is so good and His timing is TOTALLY perfect. I am seeing that clearly now. Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow :-)

The joy that came: PREGNANT!

Well...the time finally came and I am officially pregnant! I just could not believe what I was seeing when I saw this plus sign. This really is a miracle and we could not be more happy. Paul and I believed in receiving a little gift from God whenever HE deemed us ready. We didn't want to prevent it or wait like most couples do. That's just our convictions though. We are sooo excited about Baby Balough!!

After I took the above pregnancy test on October 21st, I still wasn't too conviced. So I went and bought another one. Sure enough, positive! And a few days later the line was even darker. Such a dream come true.

And below: my happy face.

Some of you know that a while ago, I found out I was pregnant...then 3 days later, I started my period. I was crushed. It was a big high, then super low time. One of my friends reminded me of this song. I clung to these lyrics:

"Would you dare, would you dare to believe that you've still got a reason to sing. Because the pain that you've been feeling can't compare to the joy that's coming. So hold on, you gotta wait for the light. Press on and just fight the good fight. Because the pain that you've been feeling is just the dark before the morning."

These lyrics are so true for whatever anyone goes through. It gets better and faith gets you through. I am so glad God had a bright bright morning waiting for me :-)