Thank God for..

Great friends. They make living here soooo much better. Paul and I had spent the past 2 days in the apartment watching tv. It was nice, but today I was ready to get out and have a little fun. So...Paul took me out for an expensive dinner at Saltgrass Steakhouse. And yes...it was quite expensive. Eek. But so worth it and so delicious. Paul wanted to go see a movie afterward, but I was tired of the same ol' same ol'. I mentioned bowling and we decided on that. It had been FOREVER since we went bowling. I texted my friend Kelsey to ask her what her and her husband were doing and invited them to join us at 9. It was SO much fun bowling and hanging out with them :-) Mom jokingly asked if I was ok to lift a bowling ball and we joked about how ridiculous the pregnancy "you can't eat this, you can't do that" has gotten. She told me that if all of that stuff were true, her kids would have all be deformed or had problems! lol. Anyways, I'm getting off topic. Kelsey is pregnant as well. She's due 3 weeks after me, so it's a ton of fun going through all this together. She kicked everyone's butt at bowling! Goodness, it was ridiculous and put us all to shame. We bowled for two hours, then discussed New Year's Eve plans. Since neither couple had any plans, Paul and I invited them over for games, snacks, hanging out and watching the ball drop. I'm excited! We went and stocked up on snacks and drinks after we got done bowling. Bring on the New Year!!!

I've been feeling lots of round ligament pain. Like...alot. And I feel like I'm getting bigger (belly) everyday. Seriously. My lower stomache got hard and noticeable all of a sudden. Next on the list: feeling movement and finding out the sex. I love being pregnant :-)

Round Ligament pain

Well, since I am officially in my second trimester, I have been experiencing some new pains. Since I had heard so much about them from ladies several weeks ahead of me in pregnancy, I haven't been worried about it. It just assures me that my uterus is stretching and growing as normal. My appointment is next week and I am soooooo hoping that we find out whether our baby is a boy or a girl. I need to know for my sanity! lol. But I am preparing to have to wait another month (cringe!). Anyways, I have been feeling GREAT! It's really like the second trimester magically took away all the bad stuff of pregnancy, surprisingly. Well, most parts. I still have some pains that I know I will be dealing with for the rest of the pregnancy. I can handle it....but the acid reflux is pretty darn miserable and painful! I live off tums sometimes because of the stomache/digestion issues I deal with. Paul and I are feeling alot more connected to our baby lately, as we realize that that is for real and there will be a birth in 6 months. It is so exciting and life changing! I cannot wait to buy everything our baby needs to be happy and healthy. It's just really hard to do that when you don't know whether to go more feminine or masculine in baby products! lol. But we will know soon enough and there are many exciting things going on between now and when we do find out :-) So I will have stuff to keep me preoccupied. Fun times all around for the Balough family. This week....we are spending every second of every day together of course! lol. Paul has off work, so we can just be husband and wife. We really don't get the chance to connect much with Paul's work schedule, but this week has been a wonderful change of pace for us as a couple already...and it's only getting started. We have plenty of time to talk, cuddle, watch our favorite tv shows and movies and just do what we want! I LOVE my husband and I am so glad we are starting our family now :-) Best decision of our lives. Anyways, I gotta pee. Go figure.

Self-image

Since getting pregnant, I have struggled with self-image a lot. I often feel fat and ugly and everything bad. A few days ago, I spent all day crying my eyes out because I just felt really, really really low. I guess I was realizing that my body is changing really fast all of the sudden and it's not quite so pretty right now. I'm at the point where I do have a little bit of a hard bump and it's pushing my fat out even further. So at the moment, I just look like I'm getting fat. I hate looking in the mirror. Anyways, when I was at my lowest point...the lyrics of a song by Mercy Me popped into my head. I am constantly listening to Christian music lately and it is so good for me. The song is called "You're Beautiful":

Days will come when you don't have the strength
And all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart
They'd see too much

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful

Praying that you have the heart to fight
Cuz you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
But they are nothing in the shadow of the cross

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful

Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to die!

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
In His eyes

You're beautiful!
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful!
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful!
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful!
You are treasured
You are sacred
You are His

I hear this song daily now and it is a constant reminder that there is a purpose behind growing tummy/blooming figure (because face it...it's not just the belly that grows...and I am not in need of these increases.) But I am made to have and raise children. It is my God-given purpose in life and I am learning to embrace this, looking forward to the greater future. God is good and I am so blessed to bear children and raise them in the Lord. So yes, I had a day of "mourning" my lost figure, but now it's time to concentrate on the mission God has set before me :-)

I'm having a....

NEPHEW! Hehe. My sister in law found out what she is having for sure and I am way excited. She and I were chatting today at having boys versus girls. She and I both agreed that there are waaaayyy too many options for EVERYTHING when it comes to girls. Clothes, bedding, prints, anything and everything. Not that that is a bad thing, but when I think about having a girl, I get a little overwhelmed. To be honest, I have all boy stuff picked out easily. So I will know what to buy right away if I find out I'm having a little Ashton. I will be absolutely THRILLED if I have we find out it's a girl, but wow. I guess I need to do some research on stuff I would want. Heather (S-I-L) told me today that she really hopes I have a boy so that our children can really be playmates. It would be neat to have two cousins less than 2 months apart. I am so thankful we can go through this time together. I would love for our children to have the same experiences I had with my cousins. Now that I realized through my stream of consciousness post that I have NOTHING picked out for a girl, I guess I need to start looking. New mission. Cute baby girl stuff that isn't too pink. It might be slightly harder than I think. I am not going with blue for a boy, so I don't want total pinkness for a girl. Honestly, I "feel" I'm carrying a boy. I have no clue why. I haven't paid attention to any of the old wives' tales except for the heart rate. But that says girl. lol..Anyways, who knows. Off to research girl stuff. I can't believe I am getting closer to finding out :-)

Beautiful...

Today was really awesome. Ok, 2-3 hours of today were really awesome. Paul came home at 7am and came straight to bed. Then he went to work around 6:30pm. At 7, he was able to come home. We decided to go look at Christmas lights in a local neighborhood, then go to Christmas in Roseland. It is a huge rose garden all decked out in Christmas lights and scenes. It was so pretty and so refreshing just to walk through all these lights in the cold, fresh air. Good for my soul! After walking around seeing all the lights, we were cold and hungry. We went to my favorite place to eat: Chili's. It was delicious. I just love their jalepeno ranch dressing. I'm not normally a lover of spicy food, but this baby has changed me for the time being. I am loving spicy stuff. Dinner was delicious. It turns out Paul had to go back to work for the night. That was a bit of a bummer, but Paul had taken me out on a date, gotten me out of the house and we had fun..so I was ok with it. Paul just knows me too well and knows what I need. So I came back to the apartment a happy and content girl. And now, I have to go to bed because Paul and I are planning on going to the early service at church so that Paul can stay awake through it before we come back and he goes to sleep. Ok. I am rambling and I just need to go to sleep! If I can. lol. I'm kind of keyed up....I am finally in a fun stage of pregnancy and I'm enjoying it!

Random...not all baby related.

Today has been a fairly good day for me. I'm starting to feel normal again and not like there's a leach sucking and draining all energy and life out of me! lol. Anyways, we got bad news today after we woke up. Paul (and most of Barksdale AFB) has been put on 12s for the weekend and Paul's shift is overnight. There's a few events that brought this on. Kinda scary! It reminded me of the reality of being a military wife: Always being flexible and supporting my husband as he and all military keep this country safe. It's not always the "Air Force's fault" for bringing stuff like this on our men. Outside forces can strike unexpectedly. I'm learning to go with the flow. Anyways, after learning that the next day off Paul will have is Christmas Day...we decided that we just need to go ahead and get my Christmas present since we won't have a chance till after Christmas. I got a new iPhone 4!!! It is totally awesome. And takes the edge off spending the nights alone. lol. I am so thankful for my precious, sweet little dogs. They are so full of love and happiness and it passes on to me. So they are my companions for the next few days. I....just lost my train of thought. Things are going well in the pregnancy area. I'm 12 weeks. Things are as good as can be. Ok. Gotta...go do nothing. LOL! Me, baby A, Dash and Marley are going to chill out all night.

Crawling

Time is really seeming to crawl these days. I think it has something to do with the fact that I'm now anxious to find out the gender of my baby. Now that I'm *basically* out of my first trimester (almost), I feel like I can breathe easier and get excited about all the fun stuff. But of course, many things in life are a waiting game. Right now...it's for gender revelation and the beginning of buying stuff to prepare for our little one. I just really don't want to until we know for sure. My next appointment (and possible gender reveal) is in 3 weeks. That seems like forever away. On top of all this, we have Christmas to get through. I don't mean to sound like a Grinch, but it's hard to really get excited about it when this is the first Christmas 750 miles away from family. We will make the best of it though, and enjoy our first Christmas together. It's not something we can re-do. I guess if I had a little more energy and was able to get the apartment spotless clean and Christmasy, then it would help. But alas, the little one drains me. I still spend alot of time sleeping or napping. I can't wait to get to the time in pregnancy where I have energy and want to "nest"...or clean like a psycho. So yeah, I do feel guilty for not being in the Christmas mood. I am thrilled to be with my husband, I really am. And he has been amazingly supportive since this season is kind of hard on me this year. Pregnancy hormones+family forever away+Christmas= not so much fun. One thing I do have to say is how thankful to God I am for my husband and my wonderful, sweet friend Kelsey. God put her here and in my life because I needed to a friend like her. We have become sisters in such a short time and I am so blessed. Plus, we get to go through everything together :-) God is good!

Anyways, not a whole lot else to say. I'm tired. What's new? Just gotta roll with the punches!

The wonderful, the good, the bad and the ugle

I decided I would do a post on the good and the bad of pregnancy that I have experienced in these 11 weeks. Granted, I've got quite a ways to go in this journey...but I've experienced quite alot in these short few months. Should I start with the bad or the good first? I think I'll start with the bad, because I want to save the BEST for last ;-)

BAD:

1. Nausea--there is nothing like pregnancy nausea.

2. Heartburn/indigestion/upset stomache-- Wait...I'm starting to sound like a commercial for pepto bismol.

3. Peeing every 30 minutes-- ANNOYING

4. Cramps--these are supposedly only bad during the first trimester...but they are worrisome because you think about the possibility of a miscarriage.

5. Emotions--up, down, left, right, everywhere in one day.

6. Throwing up on the carpet bc I couldn't make it to the bathroom-- ok, that was me. Not fun. My poor husband had to clean it up. Yuck!

7. Sensitivity to smell...

Ok, let's get to the good.

GOOD:

1. Knowing a precious baby is developing in the womb.

2. Emotions--Can also be a good thing. I'm more in touch with other peoples' feelings, their pain, happiness, etc. I cry when someone is hurting and am really excited for people with good news.

3. Watching the changes of my body :-)

4. SEEING my precious baby through ultrasounds. The best part!

5. Going through everything with a loving, sweet mate. My husband is amazing.

6. Growing closer to my hubby through this.

7. Ok, I can't lie. I can get away with doing alot less now, because my husband is more than willing to do it for me. Especially if I'm sick.

8. Food--everything is just so much tastier now that I'm pregnant.

9. Talking about baby stuff for a reason!

10. Planning for a baby!!

Ok...I gotta go. Hubby and I need to make dinner :-)

I saw God today..

In my little miracle that is growing furiously! Seeing our baby...that actually looked like a real baby was so amazing! Baby A was kicking and wiggling and moving all around for us. It was so, so so cute! The heartbeat was 158. That is pretty darn fast and it had a really strong heartbeat. It was much louder than 4 weeks ago. He or she measured at 11 weeks, 1 day gestation...which is a little ahead of the 10 weeks, 5 days that I am. I am just too thrilled over our little one. My doctor told us that we will get an ultrasound next time as well...and that we might get to find out our baby's gender! How exciting. I am so in love with my baby already and I cannot wait to meet him/her July 1st...or whenever it decides to make an appearance. I know my Mom is planning on being here for the birth...Then Momma D (Paul's Mom) is coming in July to see us and the grandbaby. I hope I have HUGE nesting urges before people show up and that my apartment is spotless clean and ready. lol. I have a feeling we are going to be pretty full of visitors in July. And since they are mother figures, that means help with our little one starting out :-) Anyways, that is the update for now. Since I have energy right now I am going to clean this place up and start preparing for dinner. LOVE. Oh! And here's the 10.5 week preggie picture.

This was at 10 weeks, 3 days on Monday :-)

Heartbeat

I purchased a fetal heart doppler from Amazon at the beginning of the week. I got it today and was super excited to try it out. Well, after a short few minutes of looking for the heartbeat, I found it. There is no mistaking that beautiful sound. I quickly called Paul in to listen and he said "yep, that's a baby alright." I got a heartbeat reading of around 125-130. I know the old wives' tale is that below 140=boy...sooooo it could be a boy. But it could be a girl. lol. Either way I am so excited to be able to heart my baby's heartbeat whenever I want to. Yippee!!